A book I recommend: Just Listen

Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, by Mark Goulston M.D. 

This is the name of the last I read and which impressed me enough to can recommend it. It is an easy to read book with plenty of tricks which will make a big improvement in your life. From my point of view, if these small secrets are applied correctly your career will be boosted ten fold.

Each chapter of the book presents a trick of how to get through the others. The main ones are:
1.         Move yourself from “oh F#@& to OK”
2.         Rewire yourself to listen
3.         Make the other person feel “felt„
4.         Be more interested than interesting
5.         Make people feel valuable
6.         Help people to exhale emotionally and mentally
7.         Check your dissonance at the door
8.         When all seems lost bare your neck
9.         Steer clear of toxic people

My key learning points

1.   Look interested rather than interesting
Till now I always thought it is very important to be an interesting person and have interesting things to share in order to interest people you are interested in. So, when reading this chapter I had a so called “aha” moment. This is what was missing to “Listen what those around you say”: sincerity! Sincere interest in what are they saying, what they are doing and their lives.
Bottom line: When I feel a person is not interesting or boring, I’ll think on this: “Boredom is what happens when I fail to make someone interesting.“

2.    From “Oh f#@&” to “OK”
Reading this book I realized it is actually normal to get angry or to lose control in a tense situation. Therefore the secret is not refraining yourself from these feelings, nor to move almost instantly from attack mode to emotional mode to smart mode.
Bottom line: “The key to wining is poise under stress“.

3.    No to Yes?
I put the question mark because even after reading this book I don’t truly believe in this, or at least I don’t know how to make it work. I believe there are situations when people behave reasonable so you can talk to them and situations and even people who just don’t want something to happen. From my point of view it is more efficient bringing logic arguments and proves to convince people than working on their mind or feelings. You may say this is the easy way, but on long term, an emotionally convinced person is more devoted. Com’on let’s be honest, do you still believe “in love” is a forever emotion?

4.    Steer clear of toxic people
I don’t know since when or how come I made it working, but for the last months I keep my self away of things and so called toxic people. There are people who give me self destroying energy, feelings and I right now for me am very clear these people have nothing to do in my life.
Of course they are part of our everyday landscape, but we choose if they become part of our lives or not.

About the author
Mark Goulston, M.D., is a business psychiatrist who through his early career intervened with  suicidal and violent individuals. This eventually led to his training of hostage negotiators for the police and the FBI.

Want to know more? Here is the link to his blog.
http://markgoulston.com/

From nothing to Heaven!

In Rome I was quite disappointed of the city and at the end of my trip I realized, it’s not Rome, it’s me. So I told myself: Anca, you have to change your way of traveling or you finish destroying all the good and famous things.

And here we are in front of the plane tickets to Milan and with a disappointing truth: Milan is not a touristic place, there is nothing much to see.

Difficult mission, I think it is the most difficult situation I’ve been into my trips: having the trip tickets to a destination which I didn’t research well before and it turned to be not for me.

With 2 hours of hard, stressful and … complicated research I made an amazing plan to do from Milan!!!

1. Day ONE – Swiss Alps!

All the trip is by train: Milano Centrale – Tirano, Tirano – Sankt Moritz by Bernina Express and return.

Bernina Express is one of the most spectacular ways of crossing the Alps, taking an UNESCO World Heritage route including Landwasser Viaduct, Bergün Local History Museum (with model of the Albula Line), the winding tunnels between Bergün and Preda, the «Glacier Garden» of Cavaglia, the Circular Viaduct at Brusio and the old town of Poschiavo.

Here you can find more information:

http://www.rhb.ch/index.php?id=33?&L=4

Sankt Moritz is one of the most famous holiday resort, the birth place of Alpine winter tourism and sport and I’m sure it’s going to shine even if the weather will not be on its best.

More info here:

http://www.stmoritz.ch/en/summer/village/portrait.html

2. Day TWO –  Como Lake

I love the wonderful infrastructure Western Europe has. I couldn’t believe myself when I discovered today I can make Como Lake by myself, easy and cheap.

Looking forward for the weekend!!!

Food cultural shocks about Italy

Romanians have been so closed to Italy in the last decade than it never represented an interest for me. Everywhere you go in Romania you find pizza, pastas, nutella, as it seems already part of the Romanian culture. And it may be why I was so shocked of some things:

1. Mozzarella, the real one has absolutely nothing to do with the softer cheddar we have in the super markets,
2. Pasta and Pizza, doesn’t have a lot of condiments, any special ingredient. They are just simple so you can feel the taste of the ingredients,
3. Ice cream, is soft and easy, no creamy, not heavy at all.

Italy is the only country I’ve been so far where the traditional food is not heavy at all. This is surprising because in the past people were working more physically so they needed more strength, which was coming from fat and heavy food. But not in Italy.

I’m pleasantly impressed!

The best of Rome

There are cities which look different by night and by day, well, Rome is one of those. I don’t know if it is matter of taste, but Rome by night is definitely better looking than by day. It shines, sparkles, is romantic and it makes you feel the thousands of years of history and glory.

Just look:

 

During the day the marble is just ordinary beauty of European perfect architecture.

So, without any doubts, for me, the best o Rome is Rome by night! And il corneto con nutella! Be best I ever tasted!

PS: and men too

The 5 things I loved most in London

1. Walking on city center at 7 o’clock in the morning, before the crowd started,

2. Oysters from Borough market,

3. Riding a bike on evening,

4. Chinese food with friends,

5. The famous Fortnum & Mason Store and Restaurant

England in one day trip

I’m not a fan of travel agencies. I like the idea of travel agency, guides and everything related with the topic. I even been tempted to try it out, but the way looked to long for me. But, the truth is that with people as me travel agencies will get bankruptcy or provide brilliant services. About the second kind of travel agency I want to tell you in this post.

When my friend Jac So and I were planing our trip to London, I got in charge of  ”what else outside London” part, maybe because I’m just too bad in planing an itinerary so much in detail or she is scared about my improvisation spirit.

So, let’s see what we have to do in England: Bath, The Cotswolds, Lake District, Oxford, Cambridge, Manchester, Liverlpool, Canterbury. Here you have the details: http://www.lonelyplanet.com/england.

Don’t know if it is because we traveled a lot, but the idea of visiting other cities didn’t seem so appealing to us. What is there  interesting in Cambridge, Liverpool, Oxford?! Just another buildings with classical British architecture. So borriiiinnnggg!

As soon as I’ve seen the pictures from Cotswolds, I knew I want to go there, Jac So loved Bath. Just what we wanted: to get a different look/feeling of England. Therefore I start shaping the plan: Stonehenge, was not a must for us, but if it is on the way, why not, Bath and Cotswolds. But how to make it in a day? The buses and trains are mad expensive and we have to rush a lot, and even then we can’t make it, only if we spend the night in Bath and then move on, but this is also complicated. And this is how we start checking how the travel agencies do it, what options do they have. And… guess what! We found one which had exactly the trip we wanted to make! The itinerary was just perfect! I never had such a good much of thoughts with a travel agency, more for such a rush trip.

This is the link to the trip: http://www.viator.com/tours/London/England-in-One-Day-Trip/d737-2452T6

This is the description of the itinerary:

Stonehenge
Your first stop is Stonehenge, the most popular prehistoric monument in the world. You’ll marvel at the huge stones that were brought from Preseli mountains, over 280 miles (450 kilometers) away, and discover the mysteries surrounding the slaughter stone and earth barrows, where the late-Stone Age Beaker people lie buried.

Bath
After traveling across the Salisbury Plain, you’ll take a guided tour of Jane Austen’s birthplace, Bath. It’s a beautiful UNESCO World Heritage listed Georgian town with delightful crescents, terraces and architecture.

Cotswolds
Heading north to Stratford, your journey takes you through the heart of the Cotswolds, taking in breathtaking views of open countryside criss-crossed by dry stone walls and bustling market towns with magnificent churches.

Stratford upon Avon
Birthplace of William Shakespeare and home to the world-renowned Royal Shakespeare Company, Stratford is a charming market town set in the heart of rural England. A delightful river winds its way through the town, past the beautiful Holy Trinity church, where Shakespeare lies buried. (from viator.com)

We loved Bath. It is just perfect to chill for an afternoon. It is a pity that this tour doesn’t give you this chance. Stratford upon Avon is another lovely small town. It has gorgeous ancient like buildings, with a lake, boats, parks, all you need to enjoy life and relax! So you can also rent a car and go by your own and wherever you feel like staying more, you can do it.

The  guide was just great. If he could have recommend us a place where to have street food would have be just perfect. hahaha Just joking. He got us a lot of knowledge about the real nice England, we have a nice time and I truly recommend it!

Happy tripping!